ONE STAR – A short story by The Behrg

Well, I’ve been DESPERATE for an excuse to have my say about the dreaded ‘One Star Reviews’ that get the online book communities knickers in a right old twist, and nows my chance!

I’ll start by saying, I do love it when my opinion of a book is unpopular. I also seem to get a lot of pleasure bashing out reviews for books I didn’t like, or thought were pretty crappy.

I’ve got to that age where I enjoy having a good moan, things annoy me more these days, (peri-menopausal 😬) and I’ll quite happily verbally fight my corner. (Don’t get me started on litter droppers, unruly children and bad parenting).

So, Behrgs’ book, what can I say? Firstly, I had to read it twice because it was one of those books. It was also very short, only 17 pages. But, OH MY DAYS, what a clever bloke you are Mr Behrg!

I’m not going to give anything away on the synopsis, you can get the lowdown over on Goodreads. What I will say though is this;

If you’re a book blogger, reviewer, dark horror fan who doesn’t get too triggered by stuff, ‘ave a gander at this one.

To say this is a unique story is an UNDERSTATEMENT. I’ve never read anything like it. It is the most relevant read a book blogger will ever come across. I’ll tell you that now. It was a clever, thought provoking head mash which I awarded four stars.

When I finished it, I had to have a very large gin. And then I had to have another very large gin after the first large gin. Honestly. Thank god for gin.

I’m now going to take this opportunity to share some of my reviews of books that I thought were pretty awful. I had a BLAST scribbling down at frenzied rate what I thought of them.

Two deserved two stars (at a push) and the other was, yep, a ONE STAR THIS BOOK IS CRUD I SHALL *USE IT PURELY TO PROP UP MY WONKY SIDE TABLE AND SNORT AT THE SATISFACTION I GOT WRITING THE REVIEW FOR THE LITTLE BASTARD. (*I didn’t actually do this with it because, for starters it was an ARC ebook, so in effect, I’d of have to of used my kindle. And I also do not have a wonky side table, soooo, yeah, anyway).

I do love a bit of feedback about my low star reviews on Goodreads. Some positive, and those joyous negative ones too. Those in particular do fill me with glee.

Click on the pictures to see my (scathing?!) blog posts.

Murder at the Mill by M B Shaw ⭐️⭐️

Goodreads comments:

-“This made me laugh out loud….”

-“I agree with you about this book. I will not read another one by this author.”

-“Hilarious.”

Doll House by John Hunt ⭐️⭐️

Goodreads comments:

-“Ouch!”

-“…I’m waiting to see what you write, maybe you can get it done better.” (Snarky remark, love it 😆)

Psycho Analysis by V R Stone ⭐️

No readers comments on this one, but maybe I’ll get some now I’ve highlighted how much I disliked this book.

So I’ve turned The Behrgs’ review into a post pretty much all about me and my reading preferences. This absolutely was supposed to happen and I’m not sorry in any way. Here’s a bit more about him, I know I’m intrigued by it all, aren’t you?!

This is how the author sees himself:

‘So who (or what) exactly is “The Behrg?”

While “Behrg” is a childhood nickname and the name by which my parents, siblings, and closest friends call me, it’s also my creative identity and the moniker through which my written works can be found. It’s a way for me to share an intimate part of who I am rather than just hiding behind a pen name.

So embrace the parts of you that are different and unique, that no one else can replicate, and share them with the world. Even if it means your first name becomes “The.”

Stay weird. Embrace the strange. And remember you can only find the light after wading through the dark.’

I’ll finish by saying that I’m excited to read more from this author. I’m a big fan of horror, not usually short stories, but I’ve subscribed to The Behrg and have received three more FREE shorts which I look forward to reading. He has an unusual voice in horror, and it’s definitely caught my attention.

*Thank you to the author for providing me with a free copy of this short story.*

Find out more about The Behrg here:

https://www.thebehrg.com/

 

 

 

 

 

The World’s Strongest Librarian by Josh Hanagarne

I read this during a stressful and difficult year. I was faced with some pretty tough obstacles and struggled with my health and happiness levels. So, like many of us readers, I got engrossed in books so I could travel around when I felt unable to really go anywhere. Joshs’ biography was book number 29 for the year, having given myself the challenge of 52 and actually managed 57! Among the 57, not one filled me with as much hope, joy and positivity as this one. Josh Hanagarne has Tourette Syndrome. He is also a book lover, a librarian and a Mormon. He sure makes a fascinating character! His life has been a tough journey with Misty (his nickname for his condition) at his side continuously, she just interferes with his health and happiness day in, day out, making things you and I take for granted, a constant uphill struggle. Now, Josh is a BIG guy, he’s 6’7″ and his Tourettes has a huge impact on his life, so in order to try and curb it, or have some sense of control of the daily tics, he turns to weight lifting. Maybe his physical strength can have some positive effect on Misty, so he at least has some control of his body. Hopefully Misty will then stay quiet and do as she’s told! So, with Joshs’ faith, family and steely determination, he tries to lead a normal life as possible. This is his story, and it’s incredibly uplifting. (Pun intended, weights, lifting, see what I did there?!!) I knew I was going to LOVE this after I’d read the contents page and the 9 page introduction. The contents are ingeniously listed chapter by chapter using The Dewey Decimal Classification System. You know, the numbers on the edge of the book spine in libraries, eg: 291.13 Greek Mythology, 808.543 Storytelling. It is fantastic! On libraries…… “The library has a robust collection of what I call, non-cuddly hate lit. This is one of my favourite things about working here: if you believe censorship is poison, here lies paradise. We have sections on anti-Mormonism, anti-Semitism, anti-anti-Semitism, anti-Atheism, anti-God, anti-Feminism, pro-Gay……there’s something to offend everyone”. “A library is a miracle. A place where you can learn just about anything, for free. A place where your mind can come alive.” That’s what I love about the library, that’s why more people should support their local library, they are amazing places to feed the brain. They’re a supermarket for the old grey matter. Some stuff you’ll like, some stuff you would abhor, but it’s available FREE, and the human brain needs feeding as much as the belly! Get fat on words and education, it’s healthy!! Here in the UK, libraries are closing down left, right and centre. It’s an area that is always the first to have cuts because not enough people support them. And the government wants to save money, and instead, build an enormous pointless sculpture somewhere. So going into chapter 2, Josh explains briefly about his Mormon faith, which I found fascinating, I’ve learnt a great deal about this religion, and it’s a bit like Christianity, with a few different twists. (That’s how I see it anyway, forgive me if I’m wrong!) Josh is such a funny guy, considering the very tough life he leads, he seems to be able to keep his sense of humour. With the support of an amazing family, his faith, Stephen King and not forgetting the heavy metal band Slayer, he never gives up his battle. Play guitar and read King!! Yeahhh!    On going to church… “It’s an interesting experience to watch religious males try to out-righteous one another to catch the eye of the women. (…everyone trying to put the ‘stud’ into Bible Study”) I could go on and on about this book and how it inspired me to start taking regular walks to the library on a sunny day instead of sitting around feeling pretty darn sad. Or how it’s got me walking again, in the forests and woodlands of Southern England, appreciating what I do have, instead of dwelling on what I don’t. Josh, for those very things, I’d like to say a heartfelt thank you 🙏  I initially gave this 4 stars, but on writing my review, I’ve decided it deserves no less than full marks.

Witch Light by Susan Fletcher

My rating: 5 of 5 stars

‘There is no devil. Only the devilish ways in a man’.

Back in February 2016, my partner took me to Scotland. Later that year in August and early September, Susan Fletcher took me back again.

Witch Light, or Corrag, as its alternatively known, tells the story of a wild young girl living in the Scottish Highlands in 1692.

Learning everything from her Mother, Corrag heals with plants and herbs, and leads a beautiful, simple life amongst nature and the elements.

But this simplicity gets Corrag labelled as a Witch and she’s thrown into a dark, dank cell to await her fate.

Charles Leslie, an Irish man of the cloth, hears of her incarceration and begins visiting her in her last days. He learns that she witnessed the brutal Massacre of Glencoe, and so, to him, she tells her story. One that could not only change her destiny, but perhaps everyone else’s too.

 

If you’re after a story which is action-packed and fast-paced, this isn’t it. Witch Light is a beautiful, serene story full of incredible description. I found myself walking through the Highlands, feeling the snow tickle my face and freeze my ears. I saw the grand hinds, I heard the owl and smelt the peat-smoked aromas of the mountain villages.

I’m not usually one for books with loads and loads of description. But the author was so brilliant at it, it made this book absolutely breathtaking.

When I go back to Scotland, which I undoubtedly will, this book will be carried with me in my thoughts as I look at the scenery with a new pair of eyes and far more appreciation of this beautiful world we live in.

View all my reviews

This is Going to Hurt by Adam Kay

This Is Going to Hurt: Secret Diaries of a Junior Doctor by Adam Kay

My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Every single person that has benefited from the British NHS should read this book.

It is powerful. POWERFUL.

The people that work as front line medical staff deserve every bit of respect in the world. So next time you’re having a knee replacement done or giving birth to your baby in the maternity ward, just spare a thought to these overworked, underpaid, taken for granted Angels.

It’s little wonder they appear a tad detached from the job and patients sometimes. I’d be too if I was working a 90 hour week. Ask them how they are, and BE A NICE PATIENT. They don’t deserve the shit they get.

On the flip side, This is Going to Hurt is hilarious. Adam Kay has a way with words that made me feel like I erupted my 25 year old caesarean scar multiple times I laughed so damn hard.

This is a book I will never forget.

View all my reviews

The Puppet Show (Washington Poe #1) by M W Craven

Call me a psychic! A five star psychic! I predicted that The Puppet Show was going to be brilliant, and I was bloody right! I knew it! I just knew it!

It gave me those vibes, you know what I mean? You pick up or hear about a book, feeling all attracted to the cover. Come on, we ALL love a bit of sinister looking cover art don’t we? The synopsis gives you that ‘oooh, this could be juicy’ feeling. And it gets put right to the top of that enormous TBR, winking at you, beckoning you to pick it up. This one went straight to the top of mine and I couldn’t wait to get stuck in.

Much to my delight there’s murder and fire and stone circles and a copper who’s got the DRIEST sense of humour ever. And there’s a REALLY COOL CHICK too, who wears band tees and happens to be a mathematical genius. I’d also like to mention that there’s a Spaniel called Edgar.

That gives you a basic rambling idea of the two main characters, but I’m going to cast my mind back to my last read for a moment, Murder at the Mill (I’ll call it MATM for short) by M B Shaw. And for those of you who haven’t read my review yet, you may do so HERE if you so desire. Why am I mentioning my previous read I hear you cry?! Particularly in another book review as well! Shocking! Let me explain.

Similies. Descriptions. Creative writing in general. It has to be good. Clever. Funny. Emotional. Flowy. I could go on. I’m a tough reader to please. MATM is a perfect example of how NOT to do it. In contrast, The Puppet Show is a perfect example of how it SHOULD be done. It’s creative, witty, well planned and brilliantly researched. Craven’s similes are CLASS. After my last read I was so relieved that this author can write. He can write gooooood.

‘The chief constable walked like a man badly in need of a stool softener.’

‘He had a drinker’s nose and his upturned chin resembled a jester’s boot.’

If there’s one thing I enjoy when I’m reading, it has to be when characters’ personalities shine through and they become so real.

‘Poe pointed at the BPhil after Francis Sharples’s name and asked, ‘You know what that means, Tilly? ‘Bachelor of Philosophy, Poe.’ Poe shook his head. ‘It means he’s a cock.’

Dry, British humour always gets a thumbs up from me, particularly if there’s some cracking insults in the mix.

The Puppet Show is one hell of a ride, I read it in just under two weeks but I wanted to read it in one sitting. Life got right in the way, and I found myself drifting off thinking about it when I should of been concentrating on work. I really wanted to cancel a family occasion as well because I just wanted to read. I love how a great book can make me feel so unsociable and selfish.

I’ve always been a fan of crime fiction, especially when it’s about a serial killer, my first being Silence of the Lambs twenty-odd years ago. I have also recently discovered Robert Bryndza and J D Barker for new reading in this genre. M W Craven is now up there for me as a go-to author as I just love the Britishness he injects into his story.

I cannot fault The Puppet Show in any way, I highly recommend it. It is pretty graphic in places and there’s a bit of sweary dialogue, but it all fits a treat. For a debut novel, this is exciting and gripping from start to finish. And I’m pleased to say that the author has just finished #2 and is writing #3. YESSSSSS! GET IN THERE! I will undoubtedly read the next instalment of Poe and Bradshaw solving gruesome murders in their quirky and entertaining way.

Many thanks to Netgalley, Little, Brown Book Group UK and M.W. Craven for an advanced copy of this awesome book in exchange for an honest review. The pleasure was all mine.